Do You Juggle?? Time Marches On…

Let’s catch up…

So it’s been a while.  Do y’all know anything about this thing some people call life???  Well, let me tell you…it can swoop in and literally flip everything upside down.  I feel like I’m constantly juggling.  I think (maybe I’m wrong) that this is every woman’s experience…juggling obligations, jobs, tasks, finances, relationships, etc.

I juggle schedules for 4 kids…and trust me we do our best to keep it to a minimum.  Little brothers have no real social life because big sisters keep us pretty busy (jobs, high school, marching band, drama practice, church obligations, volunteer work, etc.).  Then I have a 40 hr a week job.  There’s laundry, dishes, menu making, grocery buying, budgeting, bill paying, etc.  There’s church, community, and family.  I have to make a little time here or there for friends…whether it be a phone call or catching up over an appetizer.  AND there’s my hubby…I HAVE TO MAKE TIME FOR HIM…it keeps our marriage chugging along.  Sometimes this may be a 5 min conversation while he’s in the shower or on the toilet (don’t act like you don’t do it).  Sometimes we may meet at Sam’s for lunch to walk up and down the aisles and just be together.  And 1 to 2 times a year we try to get away for the weekend.  Last summer, we spent our 10 year anniversary in Aruba (that’s another post for another time).  This makes me head spin typing it out!  Life has gotten the better of me, and time did not stop.

Some great advice a bestie gave me a long time ago…You’re not superwoman, so quit trying to be.

I say ALL OF THAT to say…life flipped us upside down and well blogging was not a priority.  BUT I feel this deep, deep need inside of me to do this.  So here we go.

What’s happened in the last 4 years….(cliff notes version)
-I’m still working my lemonade job (7 years this week)
-Hubs and I celebrated 10 years of marriage last year
-The children have aged (although I have not…)
-We gained 2 grandchildren…boys…and they are fun! (You are right…I am not old enough to be a grandma.  That’s why I’m an Emee.  Did I mention my hubs is a little bit older than me…thus my bonus daughters were born when I was in high school.)
-The oldest sister still at home graduated high school this past Friday!  She’s off to university this fall.  (I’ll be passing the offering plate at the end of this post.)
-WE ARE ADOPTING!  In November I saw a FB post of 3 pre-teen girls from China that were available for adoption, and I knew WE had to do something because they age out at 14.  Of course I’m full of ideas…hubs just usually ignores most of them…lol…it’s how we operate.  BUT not this time…this time he jumped in quicker than me…ALL IN!  So we began our adoption process of one of those little girls.  We are about 2/3’s of the way through!  We hope to travel this fall!

I’m sure you’re full of questions…so I will not leave this as a cliff hanger.  I promise you’ll hear more from me more consistently!

I want to leave every momma a little something…time does march on…it stops for no one.  SAVOR the moments that seem to make you want to scream.  They will pass.  You can’t screw your kids up if you love them more than life itself…even if you make a million mistakes.  It all comes out in the wash.  Ok…that’s a few little somethings.  Life just isn’t that serious.  I wish I would have laughed more in the last 18 years.  Hugs!

P.S. I’ve added photos of graduation and our newest daughter!

 

“Spitting”

Sunday we spent the last half of the day cleaning up after big brother.  He was “spitting”…as he calls it.  I guess a tummy bug came over him.  So my husband and I had the dilemma…who is staying home with him?  Although we both love being home from work with our kids, we also know we’re required to work.  My lemonade job provides me with sick time just for my family.  My husband’s job is generous with time.  Another dilemma…big brother has had so many ailments that my sick in family time is usually used up by the middle of the year, and as in the past I was out of sick in family time.  In the past, I would take the first half of the year and my husband the last half.  However, this year we have 2 brothers in daycare…not just one…thankfully we haven’t had double the illnesses…but the amount of illnesses between them has put a strain on both of us being away from work.

These are the things that make it hard being a mom that works out of the home.  There are days you know your babies just don’t feel well…may need extra naps or such…and daycares can get pretty particular about when a kid sleeps or doesn’t…and you just know they NEED YOU!  That excuse just doesn’t blow over well with lemonade jobs.  Although I have some pretty generous supervisors…the bottom line is I was hired to do a job and to be at work.

This idea alone can drive a mother working out of the home crazy!  I remember when I really used to really stress over it.  I felt like such a failure as a mom, a provider, a woman.  It felt hopeless, really?  It was even harder when I was a single mom…working for a not so generous company (supervisors were as generous as could be)…sickness in family time unheard of.  What changed my feeling of hopelessness?  Adding a little sugar to my lemons.

Sunday night we decided I would stay home with him and stay up with him through the night.  I would just have to use vacation time and hope it all works out before August so that I have enough vacation time saved for our trip to the beach.  And that’s the sugar I added…I said in my heart, “God, you know the situations ahead of us.  You know what’s going on.  You know we have vacation scheduled in Aug.  I’m trusting you have it all worked out.”  And I said it with belief and sincerity…not as if I was trying to convince myself or God.  I DECLARED…I AM trusting Him.

Merriam-Webster’s defines declare as:  to say or state (something) in an official or public way; to say (something) in a strong and confident way

When you are confident in Him, you WILL have a peace that is unexplainable.  Worry is far from your mind.  That’s not being said to condemn…it’s being said that if that isn’t your case, there’s hope…it can be!  I say that to give you hope…to share the goodness…there is sugar for the lemons you’re handed.  AND It’s easy to obtain.

Time Managing

So…this is an area I’m in desperate need of major work in.  I’m not someone who is always late.  But I have a LOT of new adventures taking place, and I have no time to waste.  I have an amazing family.  I want to make sure I make the best of my time so that everyone and everything get their fair share of me…including time for myself.  I’ve used calendars and day planners in the past, and I did okay with them.  I’m in the process of purchasing an Erin Condren life planner hoping this will help me along the way.  I need to practice a system so that when things get even busier, I’ll have some good habits.  Would love to hear about books, systems, mentors, etc. that have helped you with your time managing.  Would love to now what your biggest struggle in the time department has been and how that system has helped you.

I’ve had issues with procrastination.  I wouldn’t say I’m as bad about it now as I was before kids.  I’ll keep you posted as I figure things out.

 

If you are interested in the Erin Condren life planners, take a look and use my referral code. https://www.erincondren.com/referral/invite/ellisamceuen0328

Hannah and Her “Stuff”

Ever prayed for something you were so passionate about?  Ever had to wait for something to come to past that you were so passionate about? 

I was reminded today of Hannah in the Bible.  She was married to a man that had 2 wives, she being one of them.  The other wife had bore him children.  Hannah had not.  The Bible says her womb was closed.  She wasn’t able to have children.  The other wife mocked and taunted Hannah because she had children and Hannah didn’t.  Hannah poured her heart out to God, sharing her desire of a child to God.  Even as she did this, a priest thought she was drunk because she was blubbering or talking under her breath to God.  She wasn’t silently praying in a corner of a room.  She was POURING her heart out to God.

Ever been in a church service where some cute little Pentecostal lady was telling you over and over to just give it to God?  Well, I have.  I was raised in a charismatic, Pentecostal type of church.  No, I didn’t have to grow my hair long or wear dresses all of the time.  But we held to the practice of being baptized in the Holy Spirit.  God knows how many times I’ve been to the altar with my guilt & shame…crying, trying to “hear” God, and some little grandmother type figure just saying over & over, “Give it to God, honey!  Just let it go!”

At the time I would think what does that mean?  How do I let it go?  WELL, Hannah is that example.  She knew God had the answer.  This was an example of giving it to God, letting it go.  She was talking it out with Him.  She was taking all of her desires, her dreams, her pains, her fears and giving it to Him.  She was POURING her heart out…EMPTYING herself of all of those things.

For mental image purposes, imagine this with me: Hannah sitting next to God, crying and talking about all of these things (her passion, desires, fears, hurts) in her heart, as she talks and cries she’s taking those things out of heart and handing them to God.  He’s holding them.  And when she finishes, He closes His hand around them.  She no longer “sees” them or “holds” them.  They are His, now. 

Now for me…being human and my particular personality, which let me just state God knows and is bigger than and still loves me regardless of…when I see His hand close over those things I can picture myself as a small child…my eyes get big and a new fear, yes fear…small, but still fear, pops into my heart.  WHAT IF?

I wonder how many WHAT IF’s? have killed great inventions, policies, dreams, desires, passions, relationships.  Too many to count, I can guarantee you. 

God is so awesome because He’s given us this free will.  What happens when I have that WHAT IF? moment is that I open His hand back up to see if my “stuff” is still there.  NOW…I still have a choice.  I can TRUST Him and let Him take that “stuff”.  OR I can decide to act on my fear and take it back.

Ever played with a 2 year old by putting something in your hand, closing it, and watching their expression?  Their eyes get big, and they wonder where it went as if magic just happened.  They immediately want to open your hand to see if it’s there.  Now if they trust you, they’ll like the game and won’t mind you doing this.  However, if they DON’T trust you, they’ll want their stuff back immediately!

This is how I’ve been many times in my life…thinking I could figure a better way out.  Now hear me out, I don’t consciously think that.  But I act on that fear.  Whereas, when I trust God, truly trust Him with all my heart, soul, and mind (all 3), I act on that trust.  The truth in my belief system becomes bigger than the fear in my belief system.  This is a place I’m in right now…Separating truth from fear…and strengthening my belief system.  I’m not talking about belief in God or not.  I’m talking about belief in WHO GOD IS…the truth of God…AND His relationship and feelings towards me.

Hannah didn’t act on her fear…she didn’t retaliate against the other wife.  She didn’t whine and complain and nag her husband.  Even when the priest suggested she was drunk, she replied gently that she wasn’t drunk just seeking after God with all of her heart.  That priest blessed her request.  Later she became pregnant and had Samuel.  She trusted God with everything in her…with her Heart, Soul, & Mind…not just one of those or two of those, but with all of her beings she trusted Him.  She gave it all to Him, and left it there.  In turn He was able to do something with her “stuff” and bring the desire of heart to past.

Trust God today with every desire, passion, hurt, and fear.  Pour your heart out to Him.  Let Him close His hands over your “stuff”, and you walk away in peace knowing the Creator of the Universe has your “stuff”.

Dedicated to Mom

Stay at Home Moms vs Moms Employed Outside of Home

None are superior. None are inferior. Both work REALLY hard!! Stay at home moms tend to be at their “duty post” 24/7 and may have a hard time balancing “me time” with their role as mom. Moms that work outside of home have their own issues of time management (the laundry doesn’t do itself…lol) and balancing time with their family and household chores/duties can be difficult.

I’ve done both. I value both. I prefer the Stay at Home gig. Not because I think it’s better, but because I find it my specific purpose/passion. I admire those women that have a purpose outside of raising babies. And don’t get me wrong…I have other passions I pursue, but in the end if I could do one thing regardless of time, money, or education I would choose to be a mom! That will always be my #1 answer.

I remember a couple of times in my childhood my mom was home with us. She went back to work when I was in 1st grade. My grandfather cared for me & my brother (only 4 years old).

Another time was when I was in the 8th grade. My mom had scored “The Job”! We were all excited. We bought a brand new car…lol…it beat driving broke down cars all of the time. Six weeks into this awesome job, she was laid off. They brought in someone younger and cheaper to fulfill her job and his job. I didn’t mind the lay off. I thoroughly enjoyed my mom driving me to cheerleading events (not having to ride the hot bus). I enjoyed when I came home from school the house was cleaned, snacks were available, and mom was there asking about our day. However, it was a stressful time for my parents financially.

Christmas that year was the hardest on my mom. She faced not being able to do for her kids the way her heart desired. I remember Christmas Eve she took my brother and I shopping for clothes (because anything she spent money on was going to have be practical). We went to one of those places that all items were $6 or under. I got a skirt and 2 shirts. My brother got 2 pair of pants and a shirt. She wrapped them individually even though they would have fit in one box, so that it would seem we had more gifts.

I remember looking at those presents throughout the night, sitting where a tree would sit if we had one. My heart hurt…not for the lack of gifts, but because I knew my mom was struggling. Being a mom now, I can only imagine she felt like a failure. See in her mind she was trying to live up to an expectation that wasn’t realistic. Some people have no problem finding the sugar to make lemonade out of their lemons. Mom wasn’t that way. She could be in some situations, but not this one. She wasn’t embracing her journey with an open heart. No fault of her own…that was where she was then. She couldn’t find the sugar to make life a little sweeter.

Later that night a crazy thing happened. There was a knock on the door. When we opened it there stood two of my teachers. They had brought us a live Christmas tree…we had never had a live one…and it was so big it bent over when it touched the ceiling. They had gifts for me, my brother, AND my parents! They had food…large black trash bags of food…good food!! That act of compassion sparked a hope of humanity in my mom. It changed my life. It was so humbling and unforgettable.

I reflect on that memory a lot as a 30+ adult. It’s been a good stepping stone in this journey of mine to remind me that God is always faithful. When we trust Him, He works things out for our good. To be honest, I would have given up all my Christmas presents every year to have my mom home enjoying her journey.

Maybe this is where my passion to be a mom was born from…

Today is my mom’s “29th” birthday! And I have the honor to see my mom after work today AND every day since she lives with us! She’s come a long way from those sour days. So proud to celebrate her today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

ps…honor your mother and father, which is the first commandment with promise…you will live a long time in the land God has promised you. Hug your moms today. YOLO…

Grandparents…

Can I just say I am 1BLESSEDMOMMA when it comes to the grandparent department??? Meet Granny & Grampa (my former in-laws…you read that right). Sometimes I think the real reason the first husband and I were together was for me to gain my girls and gain Granny & Grampa. They are totally awesome people. When the big D took place, they kept me. AND they welcomed the new guy in my life as if he were their own. Grampa actually told me the new guy…aka my present husband…was a great catch and not to screw it up…lol. Grampa & Granny share every special event with us. When you’re a working momma, it literally does take a village to raise your babies. These two were such lifesavers when I was a single momma. And even now I can call Granny for anything, and she is thrilled to do it, thrilled I asked her. I hope to be like her one day…lol. We love the two of them like crazy!

This particular day we got to enjoy the zoo with them. My heart is all warm and fuzzy thinking about the memories we made. Granny retired at the first of the year. Grampa has been retired for the last 14 years. Needless to say, Granny has been jealous the last 14 years. Grampa got to spend his summers taking the girls to the pool, swim lessons, movies, Chuck E Cheese, etc. The girls have been out of school this summer for just a couple of days. Granny called to day…she’s dying to take them to a movie. Another reason I’m looking forward to fulfilling my dream…spending more time with them making memories…we only live once. AND why should Granny & Grampa get to have all the fun with these 4 cuties, right?

The Dreaded Monday…dun, dun, duuunnn

The Dreaded Monday…having to go back to your 40 hour a week job…back to your commute…back to daycare for the babies…back to getting up earlier.

All the while…the laundry wasn’t completed over the weekend…groceries were barely bought…all that you set out to accomplish in a 2 day period only half was done leaving more work for the week.

I USED to not dread Mondays with my “lemonade out of lemons” job.  I actually enjoy my co-workers.  I actually enjoy the people I serve (for the most part).  The hours aren’t bad.  The work is simple.  It’s not the kind of job you could possibly take home.

So what changed that?!

I accidentally started my own business.  I’ve wanted my own business for a while, thinking & hoping it would give me more freedom with my time.  This particular business I didn’t set out to start, though.  Ever heard of Plexus?? Neither had I until a few months ago.  It’s a wellness company.  Supplements are their thing.  And well, a friend of mine had started using their products for energy and other health benefits.  I’m not talking about the kind of energy you get from an energy drink.  I’m talking about a natural energy…like you had in your 20’s.  I was impressed with her results, and Lord knows to not be falling asleep on the couch at 8pm would be awesome!

So I gave it a shot.  I signed up as an ambassador without the intention of really promoting the product…just the ability to purchase it at wholesale.  God kinda had a different plan.  I did share my results on Facebook…how could I not?  They were phenomenal.  I wasn’t falling asleep on the couch at 8pm.  AND I WAS LOSING WEIGHT!  (Since getting married & having 2 babies I had put on a good 40 pounds.  I was up 4 pants sizes.  And I just felt like junk to be honest.)  Sharing my experience turned this personal use into a business…I began to make money by sharing my story.  You ask what does that have to do with dreading Mondays now??

Well…I attended the Plexus Freedom 2014 Convention in Dallas, TX, a week or so ago, and for the first time in a long time I realized MY DREAM, MY DESIRE to be home with my babies…to not commute…to not HAVE to take my babies to daycare…to have MORE FREEDOM in my schedule to do what I want to do most…BE A MOM…was realistic!!  AND THUS I’VE DREADED THE LAST TWO MONDAYS, and this will continue until that desire/dream come into fruition (which I know will be sooner than later…stay tuned).

For now, I’m still making lemonade out of lemons.  BUT, I have a real hope and see a solution to my dilemma!!

 

Unanswered Prayers

 

I’ve always wanted a lot of children. I inherited 2 when my husband and I married. However, I wanted more. He felt like if it was meant to happen it would. Four and half years after we said “I do”, I ended up pregnant. Crazy thing was I was just getting used to the idea of NOT having any more kids. Our youngest was 10…in 8 short years she would be heading off to college.  We would be alone for the first time in our relationship.  Funny how God works. Well, a year and half after welcoming our little boy, we welcomed our 2^nd little boy! REALLY funny how God works. So now our quiver is full!

Those 4 1/2 years leading up to pregnancy of baby boy #1, I prayed for him.  I prayed specifically that God would provide a way for me to be home with that baby.  I prayed very specific details.  WI worked up a detailed plan on how we would be breaking even or a little bit ahead by me not working (since we wouldn’t be paying daycare).

Needless to say I went back to my job. I was disgruntled. I was very unhappy. How could God let me down? But something inside my heart told me to trust Him and watch what happens. When I did that I began to have peace.  I forgave my husband.  I asked him for forgiveness for being angry towards him.  Sometimes we think we know what’s best.  It’s kinda like that Garth Brooks’ song…”Unanswered Prayers”.  God truly knows what is best for us.  When we trust that, we can embrace the journey we’re on…have peace that surpasses all understanding, have joy unspeakable, and focus on others. 

The How of 1 Working Momma

Well to give you some background info…I’m a mid-30’s working momma. My husband and I have been together since 2005, and married since 2007. We are a blended family. Each of us was married before, and each of us has 2 daughters from those marriages. “His” daughters are adults. “My” daughters are teenagers.  I use “His” and “My” loosely because we are a pretty well blended family. The hubs and I have 2 boys together…2 yrs & 1 yr old…which just blends our family even more.

Some people are lucky enough to know what they want to do when they grow up. My husband is one of those people. He knew in the 8^th grade he wanted to work with computers, and he did. He’s a successful computer programmer. I had no idea! Looking back I was kind of odd. I was probably the only teenager that had subscriptions to Parenting and Seventeen magazines…lol. In my mid-20’s, I found myself as a single mom and after numerous personality tests, skills test, career tests, etc., I finally discovered my purpose.

The question was posed to me like this, “If you could do anything regardless of time, money, or skill, what would you do?”

My answer:

“I’d be a momma. I’d be a momma to my kids. I’d be a momma to kids who don’t have a momma.”

Problem is…being a momma doesn’t pay the bills.

Once my husband and I married, I tried to find the best job that would help me contribute monetarily to my family, yet be off most holidays and have generous vacation to spend time with my children…to be a momma.  In my mind that was making lemonade out of lemons. I felt I succeeded at the position I’m currently in. I enjoy the people, it is low stress, my co-workers are like family, I have most school holidays off, I have generous vacation, and the pay is just enough. So I am 1 Working Momma.